The wispy smoke from their conversation lingered in the air between them. Yang Wenfu finally exhaled one last plume before stubbing out his cigarette. He looked at his silent son and said, “You must be thirsty. Have some water first.”
He pushed the cup of water brought by his daughter toward his son. Yang Haoran accepted it. He wasn’t particularly thirsty, so he took a small sip and then set the cup down.
Silence fell between the father and son once more. Yang Wenfu’s brow was tightly furrowed, as if he were pondering something deeply. After a long while, he let out a soft sigh and said, “Last night was my fault. I shouldn’t have argued with your mother. It must have frightened you both.”
His father’s hoarse voice was laden with guilt. Yang Haoran’s heart wrenched violently. A mix of heartache and guilt flooded his heart. Remembering his own actions, he truly felt like a beast. But… but… when he thought of his mother… he couldn’t let go.
He could only remain silent, not even daring to look into his father’s bloodshot eyes. The pungent smell of smoke still filled his nostrils, emanating from his father’s suitβa thick, clinging odor of tobacco that refused to dissipate. Associating it with his father’s absence all last night, he felt even more ashamed to face him.
Seeing his son’s continued silence, Yang Wenfu mistakenly thought his son was still blaming him. A trace of bitterness touched the corners of his mouth as he said slowly, “I know your mother’s temperament. She wouldn’t cheat.”
He paused at this point, then continued, “But her reaction last night made it even clearer to me that she has cheated.”
“Haoran, do you know who your mother’s adultererβno, who the man your mother is having an affair with is?” Yang Wenfu noticed his misspoken word and quickly corrected himself.
He looked at his son with hope, yearning to glean even a fragment of information from him. He knew his wife often spent time with their son, and the two were close. If Ruoxi had been acting unusually, their son would be the most likely to have noticed.
But he would never think in that direction, because a normal person would never entertain such a thought. Incest was a rare exception; no one would actively consider that possibility.
“I don’t know.”
Yang Haoran shook his head. “Mom has been just like always.”
Disappointment flashed in Yang Wenfu’s eyes. Then, as if remembering something, he pressed on, “Have you been to your mother’s company recently? Or has your mother been particularly close to any male colleagues at work?” This was the only possibility he could conceive of, and it was a significant one. Although Ruoxi was the company president, she had many male subordinates. In business, men often outperformed women, and exceptional men more easily attracted the affection of the opposite sexβhimself, for example.
Yang Haoran shook his head again. “I haven’t been to Mom’s company recently. And in the past, when I did go, I never noticed her being particularly close with any male colleagues.”
He answered truthfully. In his memory, even though his mother had been in a cold war with his father for years, she still maintained a professional distance from her male subordinates at work.
As for the “adulterer” his father mentioned, he knew all too well who it was.
Yang Wenfu studied his son’s expression; it didn’t seem like he was lying. He offered a bitter smile and said helplessly, “Haoran, if your mother and I get divorced, who would you plan to live with? Your mother, or me?”
“Hmm?” Yang Haoran thought for a moment, then asked, “What did Yaoyao say?”
He knew his father must have already asked his sister the same question. “Yaoyao said she’ll go wherever you go. She said she doesn’t want to be separated from her big brother.”
Yang Wenfu recalled his daughter’s answer; it had surprised him as well.
Yang Haoran still avoided answering who he would follow, instead asking, “Is divorcing Mom really the only option?”
“I don’t know. Your mother hasn’t brought it up yet.”
Yang Wenfu sighed. “Son, I don’t want to divorce your mother either. Even though she has cheated, after all these years, I bear my share of the responsibility too.”
“Huh?” Yang Haoran was confused by his father’s words. What did he mean by that?
Wasn’t he the one planning to ask Mom for a divorce?
Why did it sound like Dad was worried that Mom would ask him for a divorce?
Why would that be?
After a moment’s thought, it dawned on him. If his father didn’t want a divorce, yet was convinced his mother had cheated, from his father’s perspective, he might be worried that his mother would use this as an opportunity to ask for a divorce, so she could be with her lover openly.
But the fact that his father didn’t want to divorce his mother puzzled him. He looked at his father, perplexed.
Noticing his son’s confused expression, Yang Wenfu let out a bitter chuckle and said, “Are you wondering why I wouldn’t be the one to ask your mother for a divorce?” Yang Haoran nodded.
Click.
Yang Wenfu pulled a lighter from his pocket, took a cigarette from the box on the tea table, lit it, and took a deep drag. He exhaled slowly, and amidst the swirling smoke, his raspy voice spoke: “Because, truth be told, your father… I have also cheated.”
His father’s words stunned Yang Haoran. He had considered this possibility himself, thinking it was quite likely, but he never expected his father to confess it outright.
He had imagined himself painstakingly uncovering clues and evidence of his father’s affair. He never thought his father would be more forthright than he had anticipated.
“Don’t say anything about this to your mother. This stays between us, father and son.”
Yang Wenfu exhaled smoke and then slowly began recounting the events: “It was a few months ago, at a company gathering…” As the cigarette burned down to its end, the story reached its conclusion.
Yang Haoran was completely dumbfounded. His father had actually taken advantage of being drunk to rape a female subordinate? Was this something his gentle, refined father was capable of?
But alcohol could make one lose their senses, and his father’s words were filled with remorse. He was utterly numb, his thoughts in disarray.
Should he tell his mother? Or keep his father’s secret? Remembering his own beastly behavior, which was even worse, Yang Haoran found his answer.
His father confiding in him was an act of trust in his son. And everything he himself had done was to possess his mother.
Logically, he should ruthlessly expose his father’s affair to his mother. But he couldn’t do it. Because he could not betray the trust of the man before him. He felt too ashamed toward him. He was his son. He was still human.
Beingει (despicable) was one thing, being aε°δΊΊ (villain) was another. If he had discovered his father’s infidelity on his own, he would have told his mother without hesitation. But there was no “if.”
Moreover, if his mother asked him how he found out about his father’s affair, he would have no evidence and would be left speechless. It would be easy for her to guess that his father had told him. His own act of treachery as a son might instead cause him to lose his mother completely.